Thursday, 11 July 2013

There are some Filthy Fuckers about...and the real reason public facilities are put out of order.

I have had better days...As some of you may Know or not. I do Buildings Maintenance these days. 
Trust me I may no longer be a Cleaner, but I do still end up getting involved in the less savoury end of the General Publics activities.
Today for example I was unblocking a Disabled Toilet some helpful Punter decided to flush Nappies or what ever the fuck you call the adult ones .
Plunger said NO.
Couldn't access the rodding eye without risking a backup in the pipes blowing up on me.
Simple Physics said If I didn't empty the pipe first the pressure would mean I got very messy as soon as I undid the Bolts.
Cutting back to the bone, there would be no way of avoiding the Tsunami of Faecal matter hitting me, and very possible in the face.
 So I picked the 'safe' Option and got busy with the wetvac.
Now due to the unique way the company is funded this thing is knackered, with a loose pipe etc.
I have a Cleaner at the ready in case it goes badly wrong, and for a bit of moral support really in these situations.
 So there I am sucking away when the pipe decides to come loose.
Top end of the pipe is lodged down the pan and not going anywhere.
So I let go of this end and jam the other end of the pipe back in its hole.
This causes a surge making the other end of the pipe to rear up out of the Pan like a Cobra.
and the liquid pressure to simultaneously drop in the now lunging towards me pipe.
You can guess the rest.
Not a moment I care to repeat ever again.
I got covered in Wet Sewage purely cos someone decided to be a Thoughtless Cunt.
I would say 80% of the plumbing jobs I get involved with are due to someone Blocking Toilets up either from Ignorance or on Purpose.
Would you feed your Toilet at home any of the above items and then try to Flush them.
An entire Toilet roll, either rolled up still or just unravelled and jammed to the top.
A Coke Can.
Drugs paraphernalia and Sharps.
A Whiskey Bottle.
Or any number of misc unflushable items you dropped down there accidentally and decided you no longer required them.
Thought not.
So anyway earlier this week I had the need to close some other Toilets for repair due to one of the above Blockages.
How did the Public deal while I was taking one for team?
Did they look for alternative facilities? Well sort of...If you mean by Getting shouty at me before Pissing and curling one out in the Quieter corners of said Centre them yes they did.
Going back to the House analogy, If I visited these peoples houses to find their Toilet was not working would I be justified in Curling one out in the Kitchen Sink?
Or would I just hold out make my excuses and carefully go towards the next available facilities.
The thing is the Public just don't get this, If you were to ask any of the facilities team why something is out of order we tend to spare you the details.
We will put up signs with nice ambiguous things on them like . "This Facility is Closed for Essential Maintenance" or Closed for cleaning, and If pressed by the Public then we might even tell you there has been a Flood /Incident etc and Its closed over health and safety Grounds.
Why? Well you don't really want to know it closed cos some scuzzy fucker decided to Block the Toilet with Paper, Shit on the Seat and then smear it up the walls (It happens more than you would imagine... there are some right dirty bastards about)
If something is broken its cos someone before you Broke it.
If something is dirty its cos someone made it dirty.
I have seen Cleaners get Bollockings over this loads of times.
They Clean and check the Toilets once an Hour There is no reason they would walk away without doing this or providing you with somewhere sanitised and something to wipe your arse on, No seriously they DO!
but if they Clean it and someone decides to make a 'Bold statement' in there  just afterwards.
You walk in and see it , before storming off to the nearest Member of Staff to complain.
Or if you are really enraged you demand to see the Boss man.
So they clean up some pretty inhuman shit, and then they get Bollocked about it.
Not really on is it?
Please have a think before you go into one.
By all means tell us there is a Problem, Please do. It helps us sort stuff out if we know about it, but bear this in mind.
99 times out of 100 Its not the Cleaner/Maintenance Guys being Lazy (and trust me we really do put up with some real nasty things to clear up and repair) Its some scuzzy fucker being scuzzy.
Trust me I do not spend my day Blocking Toilets,Wiping shit about and Breaking stuff,and neither do the Cleaners. Cos funnily enough, I am too busy unblocking the things and fixing stuff to make myself more work to do.
Maybe I need some laminated Signs to put up saying "Closed while I clean up after some inconsiderate piece of Shit"
anyway if anyone was missing the Blog of the Bog I hope you have got the fix fer now.
I seem to have reverted to default.
Peace out and neither a Scuzzy Fucker or Complainer be.

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